The cutest pumpkin you ever saw :-))

Trick or treat!

Pac-man

I have a confession to make. I haven't been feeling physically or emotionally or even spiritually strong lately. I've actually been feeling weak and vulnerable. And sad. For those of you that know me personally, you'll know that I hardly get sad. I usually encourage others and have so much energy. I am known as the happy girl, the girl with the smile. I am GENUINELY happy most of the time! Not this week. Or last week. I haven't been in the Word as much lately. I have hardly opened my Bible. I haven't spoken to God. Haven't been angry or sad. I haven't questioned Him as to why He allowed me to have brain cancer and I haven't blamed Him.

My faith has been as small as a mustard seed at times, but I have never lost my faith in The Lord. He is good, still so good. I've just been afraid to go to Him with my fears concerning cancer. And death. I don't want to die. Especially not of brain cancer!! He already knows my fears though, and He will provide me strength to get through this scary season, even when I can't see the end.

I am due to start chemotherapy on Monday (tomorrow!) We close on a house we're buying on Tuesday afternoon. So we are in the middle of packing! We did joke a few weeks ago that "wouldn't it be something if I began chemo on the same week as we move!?"

I received my chemotherapy medication in the mail on Friday. The packaging scared the wits out of me. I posted a picture, the picture below actually, on Facebook. I wrote "What if I don't want to take it? I am not looking forward to Monday. Wish I didn't have cancer."

I researched about Temodar when I got home today. It is literally meant to eat up cancer cells. Someone told me the other day to picture chemotherapy as "Pac-man". I like that visual image, of a mouth going through and eating up all the bad cancer cells.

Another friend kindly advised me to think positively. To BELIEVE that God can and WILL heal me! There are so many examples of Jesus healing others in the Bible- why don't I believe that He can heal me? It has only been recently that I have believed that He can heal me. Where the doctors say my brain cancer is not curable, I believe that God can cure it. Not only that, He WILL cure it! All in God's perfect timing.

Today's devotional from my Stormie Omartian devotional (I know, it's been a while since I posted a devotional) is spot on. How does the sovereign Lord know what I am going through at exactly the right time?

"Lord, when my world is shaken, help me to remember that You are unshakeable. When I feel weak, help me sense Your strength giving me power to rise above my circumstances. When I am afraid, help me to remember to worship You in the face of fear. When I need to stand strong, help me to remember all the great things You have already done for me. May those memories provoke wholehearted praise for what You are about to do in my life.

Fear The Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you."

I am so grateful for my blessings. Especially my two Z men.

Happy fall y'all!!!

FIFi xo

Happy Camper

We have a plan!

We have a plan! Our meeting with the oncologist yesterday went well: I am starting chemotherapy on Monday, October 22nd. I will be taking the tablet "Temodar" at home every day. The oncologist said I would be taking Temodar for an "indefinite" period of time (due to the size of my tumor). We talked about radiation (which I can only have once due to the location of my tumor) and Zev and I have decided agains...

t radiation for now. We'll reassess after the next MRI scans (probably around November). God IS good. I'll be honest, I was kind of feeling down and low on hope this week. Waiting for news is hard and the mind plays all sorts of tricks when left to wonder. But I trusted in God, nonetheless, even when my faith was as small as a mustard seed. I am happy again. THANK YOU ALL so much for your prayers and messages of encouragement. I read them while at the clinic and they really encouraged me. Thank you :-))

 "Weeping may last through the night, but JOY comes in the morning." Psalm 30: 5

Guess who's 6 months old today?!!!

Zachary is! Haha :-)) I squeezed him into his 6 month onesie that Aunt Candi made for him (aren't those the cutest!?) We visited the pediatrician for his 6 month well baby visit and shots. Poor baby!

Here is what our sweet baby boy has been up to this past month:

- 74th percentile for weight (18.8 lb) and 95th percentile for height (28.2 inches)! His head circumference was 99th percentile (46.4 cm) when the nurse measured him today. So basically, we have a long baby with a big head like his mama :-)
- Average of about 6 bottles during the day. Mostly 5 oz bottles although last week we increased the amount to 6oz
- He really likes to flirt with the ladies!
- He is still rolling over from his back to his belly but can't roll back onto his back
- He cut two teeth; one on October 5th and the other last night! He fussed a little which was unlike him, so Zev got some homeopathic teething tablets from Walgreens. That seemed to do the trick.
- He is going to be a pumpkin for Halloween. It has been raining here the last few days, so I haven't had a chance to take him out to a pumpkin patch for pictures. Soon though :-))
- His daddy and I love him to bits.

Happy 6 month birthday, Zachary!

Love Mummy and Daddy xoxo

Weekend in DC

Gosh, has it been almost a week since my last post?!! Sorry! I've been caught up on living: Bible study on Tuesdays, MOPS on Thursdays, baby massage etc. Life is good :-))

Zev and I went to DC last weekend! It was a fun yet short trip, but great for us to getaway for the weekend and explore our nation's capital. We stayed at Fort Myer, which borders Arlington cemetery and is where the Army's Honor guard is posted. Really beautiful Army post, if you ever get the chance to see it.

We went to the National Portrait Gallery on Saturday (read: for FIFi) and then to the new Smithsonian aviation museum near Dulles airport (read: for Zev) on Sunday. We also visited the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and JFK's cemetery (did you know that Jackie Kennedy Onassis is buried right next to him!?) on Sunday. Zev showed Zachary the changing of the guard. Gosh those young men are so sharp looking and so precise with their movements!

Zachary was the sweet little baby that he always is (we are very blessed and thank God daily for our blessings!) and was fascinated by the light and video displays at the Portrait Gallery. It was a fun weekend!

I hope you enjoy the pictures!

FIFi xo