Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I spoke too soon

Brain cancer sucks. I have brain cancer and it sucks. So, what to do about it? My whole back of neck, where the Central Nervous System fluids drain hurts. Pain meds help. But they only take the edge off. Hence my sleeping lots and taking pain meds every 4 hours helps. Oh how I wish I wasn't on pain meds.

I'm sorry for being so real, but I figure if you are reading this blog, then you like for me to be real. There is is something freeing in that :-) My head throbs. My eyes are in between open and shut. I don't look or feel great. Oh Lord, will You take this cup from me?

Today's devotional says:

Trust Me, and don't be afraid. I want you to view trials as exercises designed to develop your trust-muscles. You live in the midst of fierce spiritual battles, and fear is one of Satan's favorite weapons. When you start to feel afraid, affirm your trust in Me. Speak out loud, if circumstances permit. Resist the devil in My Name, and he will slink away from you. Refresh yourself in My Holy Presence. Speak or sing praises to Me, and My Face will shine radiantly upon you.

Remember that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Me. You have been judged NOT GUILTY for all eternity. Trust Me, and don't be afraid; for I am your Strength, Song, and Salvation.

James 4:7- Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Romans 8:1-2- Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Isaiah 12:2- Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

I will Trust in the Lord. With all my soul.

I will leave you with random pictures of Zachary and his grandparents :-) He makes my heart sing with Joy!

And I just realized that I don't have a picture of Zachary with Zev's parents! I'll leave you with a good picture of me and I will add a picture of Dave and Judy tomorrow!!!


Anonymous said...

Please rest as much as you need!!! When you are better - I love to hang out. Til then - Schlafen ist die beste Medizin - and family of course! And do not be afraid of the pain killers - they are there to help - once you do not need them anymore, the Docs will let you know - but I believe in them now, fighting them for years (til one of the Doctors explaining to me, that controlling pain long term is easier on the body then repeatedly trying to just take the edge of.

I have not prayed so much in years, Fiona. Your story has touched me deeply and I am so grateful to have met you and to be able to pray for you and get closer to God through all of this! I am continuing praying for you - especially for reduced pain.

And Thank you for sharing your story so faithfully. It is very much appreciated.

Kristine Plummer

Elizabeth said...

Praying for you and your family as you move through this time. The Lord is so good to heal and I pray that He heals your physical body! Rest well.

Anonymous said...

Fiona, we LOVE that you are real. Your honesty and your faith amaze us and so many people! Lord, we pray for our Sister FIONA!! We pray that you will heal her, take this cancer away. We know that you are the ALMIIGHY HEALER. Lord, hear our prayer. Please take this pain away that she is having, give her the strength she needs to rest, to heal, to shine YOUR light Lord. We pray this all in the name of JESUS CHRIST! Amen!
Sending you special hugs, LaDonna & the Armstrong Clan

Heather Schott said...


Although we have met only twice, I feel like I know you so well through your blog. Please know that you are so loved and I continually pray for you. I pray that God will take this cup from you and appreciate your realness. You have such tremendous strength and courage and I am thinking and praying of you constantly. Please call if you need anything!

Liz Ferlenda said...

Dearest Fiona,
Thank you for sharing your blog with all of us who love and care for you. It's a great way to document your daily blessings and struggles and to be able to look back and see your progression so please continue to be "real" - it also helps all of us to know exactly how to pray for you, Zev and Zachary - we NEED to know how you are doing. Thanks for the picture of Maria & Howard - they look great. Looking forward to one of Judy & Dave with Zachary. The picture of you is beautiful - it needs to be in a frame - you have no scars!? What's up with that? All our love to all of you.

Liz and Tom F
BCS! (brain cancer sucks)

Anonymous said...

Your Faith and strength is amazing. Praying for God to wrap his loving and healing arms around you...

Prayers from Georgia

Jeanne Liles said...

Fiona, I am praying for you daily!!
Thank you for sharing with us.
Jeanne Liles
Shreveport, Louisiana

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this word from the Lord today! Even in the midst of your suffering, He is using you greatly!! This was just what I needed to hear today! These verses have encouraged me so much!!!

Gena said...

Sweet FiFi I'm so sorry that you are in such pain. Please rest and take the meds. Don't concern yourself about the meds, they are important drugs to help you through this time. Your body needs time to heal and to catch up with your bright and beautiful soul. God loves you so much that he has made you His messenger and I believe that He is going to make each day better for you until you kick this cancer. Besos Lovely Lady. XOXO

Carrie & Andrew Rogers said...

Hi. You don't know me but I saw a prayer request for you come across a blog called, "Kelly's Korner." I hope the good days outweigh the bad and your bad feeling days are few. I feel compelled to leave a comment because I may one day be in your shoes. Lots of prayers coming from my Husband and I.

Anonymous said...

Hi Fiona
I have been following your progress and praying for you and your beautiful family. Our family has been deeply saddened by your news but at the same time inspired by your strength and words. Mario is like a brother to me and seeing the pics of your parents brings back so much great memories. Guildford has changed but it has produced some great people! We have started a Novena for you. If there is anything at all that we can do please let us know. God bless you and protect you. Stay strong. Lots and lots of love to you and your entire family - Toby and Family and Family's Family and all the cousins....

zevandfi said...

Thanks Toby! Please send my love to your beautiful family also! Yes, I have fond memories of Guildford. How is Roseanne? Look forward to seeing you all when we head back to Aus at the end of the year. Besos xoxo

Anonymous said...

She is well. In Perth now. She was her last week and I told her about you. She was very upset. We will definitely catch up at the end of the year! Look after yourself and I will keep a regular eye on your site!