Tuesday, July 31, 2012

God is GOOD, so good.

God is good. The UVA doctors feel that surgery is an option. We are awaiting final pathology reports and a second opinion from Johns Hopkins on August 9th, but I am tentatively scheduled for brain surgery to remove about half the tumor on August 14th. Then I will begin radiation and chemotherapy about two weeks later. The surgeon yesterday said that although it's too early to say, the current plan should give me a better long term outlook than we had last week. I appreciate each new day.
It's so good to have hope in the Lord.

I was so scared yesterday morning.  I guess I am still wired from the adrenalin and stress from these past two weeks. 

I wanted to share the devotionals from yesterday, July 30th and from today, July 31st.  I haven't really read devotionals until this past week, when Ginny Atwood kindly and generously dropped them off at my house.  Thank you Ginny.  I believe that the Lord is working in my life to encourage others and give hope.  And maybe my writing down how the devotionals have affected my life in this present time is a way to do this.  Through this blog.  And facebook.  Who would have thought that facebook could be used to glorify God!? We have been blessed by the kindness of friends and strangers.  So blessed.  We can't thank you individually enough.  I will try to though. 

Ok here is the devotional from Stormie Omartian's "Prayers for Emotional Wholeness" for July 30th (the day Zev and I traveled 2.5 hours north to meet with the University of Virginia neurosurgeon brain tumor specialists.  I was so nervous and scared, especially about taking in what they had to say and making a decision affecting my health.  I am so thankful for Zev, my wonderful, patient, gorgeous, generous husband.  How did I get so blessed?)

Lord, I turn to You as the solid rock on which I stand and ask that You would lead me in the way I should go.  I don't want to take a step without knowing You are leading me.  Even when I must make a quick decision, help me to do so with great accuracy because of the wisdom and the knowledge You have put in me.  Make me sensitive to the presence and leading of Your Holy Spirit in my heart. 

"You are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for Your name's sake, lead me and guide me."  Psalm 31:3

Prophetic, huh?  I prayed that part about the Lord leading me to make a quick decision with my husband and my parents-in-law before we drove out to the university.  This experience has taught me to value people.  To tell them when I cherish them. 

And here is the devotional for today:

Lord, I seek Your face right now and ask that as I look to You, You will guide me where I need to go.  Your presence comforts me, and the knowledge that I am walking in Your will makes me confident and secure.  Help me to come to You every day for guidance and not try to do things on my own.  Enable me to keep my eyes on You at all times. 

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."  Psalm 32:8

I am not out of the woods yet.  Hey, I still have to have major brain surgery and then chemotherapy and radiation and pray that this tumor shrinks and that I have a life to live.  But I have hope.  And hope is what sustains us on this earth.  I never thought I would be excited about having my head cut open and undergoing a brain surgery that lasts about 5 hours.  I am so grateful for each day on this planet though.  I look forward to my time in Heaven, but for now I ask that the Lord keep me on this earth just a little longer so I can see my son grow up and speak to me and I can share God's love with others. 

Here in closing is the devotional for today from the Sarah Young devotional called "Jesus Calling." 

Trust Me in the depths of your being.  It is there that I live in constant communion with you.  When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself.  You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming.  Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supporting rather than condemning.  I know that deep within you, where I live, My Peace is your continual experience.  Slow down your pace of living for a time.  Quiet your mind in My Presence.  Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing the resurrection blessing:  Peace be with you.

And here is what I thought was appropriate, the Scripture verse quoted:

"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of Glory."  Colossians 1:27.


Klaudia Achenbach-Wege said...

Dear Fi,
thank you for being so open hearted that you share your thoughts and feeling with us! You are a spiritual person and the way you write is so inspiring to us! I shared todays devotional quote you wrote on FB - spreading all the love you are so generously giving to us! This will make the world a better place!
Sending you my love - even though your body may not be heal, your soul and your heart is!

Amanda said...

Precious words! I am praying for you Fiona! Praying that God would use you and heal you and He would receive all the glory.

Michael Carmody said...

Dear Fiona and Zev,
I spoke to Susan Vaughn Zwiaska yesterday evening and also saw the email from the Shreveport Bar Association this morning. I was shocked and had no words.

I always enjoyed seeing you, Fiona, in Shreveport and hearing your happy, enthusiastic voice, even when talking about working capital cases. You are an inspiration to me and so many others.

You and your family are and will be in my daily prayers for healing, peace and joy. I just learned of your return to the States and the happy news of your baby boy. He's a very lucky child.

With deepest respect,

Michael Carmody

Jenifer Clason said...

Dear Fiona,

I received the email about you from the Shreveport Bar Association. I am so very sorry that you and your family are facing this challenge. Being from Virginia myself, I have great confidence in the medicine practiced at the University of Virginia medical school and will pray for skilled, gifted physicians for your care and continued strength and courage for you and your family.

Judge Jenifer Ward Clason (Toni)
Second Judicial District Court
Homer, Louisiana